Thursday, December 31, 2009

twenty three years

wow..today is definitely..tiring! yet it's my birthday.. i even took a nap before cutting my cake..heh

oh no..i only have 10 minutes before 2010 come..better hurry, before my computer turned off sebab terlampau panas~

anyway, like always, thanks to all yang wish! i feel bad, because i didn't wish some of their birthdays..huhu..i'll try my best to return the birthday wishes next year, insyaAllah!

the best part of today is when i got to watch Tohoshinki's live performance in NHK Kohaku SOng Battle! yay! best birthday performance ever..haahha..eventhough it's not really for me, but since it's my birthday, i'd like to think they're performing for me..kehkeh~ so delusional~

it's 12 am already! can't believe 2010 is finally here..exam in less than 5 months! omo..!~

Friday, December 25, 2009

the weekend

this is probably the weekend. when u dun feel like doing much even though tons of works are piling up on your desk..

when yesterday's class ended, i just feel like going back to my room and relax..to breathe..at last... i went out for a movie and window shopping for a while..it's great! after a long tiring weekdays, that's the best! and end up waking up late this morning..hehe~

got another tough weeks coming..please give me strength..yeo ilshimmihae! ^-^


currently listening to FT Island..luv their songs! :)

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

seasons of engangement

i have less than an hour before i need to go back to the hospital. just stopping by the office to use internet, aih..susahnye hidup tanpa suis..takleh nak on laptop pun..boleh je kat luar tu, but, my room is far more comfortable and the most important thing is...internet coverage is better..huh~

anyway, hopefully there'll be bedside teaching for us today..so that everyone can finish their turn to present..just trying my best to get everyone present to fill in logbook and to gain more knowledge in this surgery posting. my fave posting during my 3rd year. but only now i realized i dun really know much about this posting until 2 weeks ago..all i could remember during my 3rd year is how we were all so terrified of our lecturer that i cant even remember me learning something from the ward except examining patient. huhu

5 more weeks to go for this surgical posting. but so many things to do. need to complete seeing forensic cases some more...keep moving..fighting!

oh yeah, congrats to all my classmates yang dah bertunang dan berkahwin baru2 ni..hopefully sume berkekalan hingga akhir hayat..amiiinnn~~~ :)

hmm..10 more days..~~~~

Thursday, December 3, 2009

drama marathon

i'm currently watching back to back episodes of You're Beautiful..and my heart is beating so fast (dupdupdup ~ 200bpm).. hensem nyaaaaaaaa...hahaha..the drama ended a while ago, but i only decided to watch now since i've completed downloading all episodes..oh my..i'm melting..melting...~~~~totally in love with him..Hwang Tae Kyung-shi is so damn cool! love him! saranghae! ^o^ ^o^~~

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

my december..

tomorrow is wednesday already..like always, this is how i spend my holidays. getting up every morning and turn on my laptop, get connected to internet then start downloading and downloading..so many things i've downloaded but still haven't watch..oh, how greedy! then i just cant move from my sit and stuck in front of my laptop for almost whole day..what am i doing?? no discipline at all! nappu yeoja (ye ke..?)! hehe~

oh it's december already..come what may..30 days before my big day..i dun know when i started to have this idea, but i thought getting a year older kinda cool..i dunno..wait until i'm 30, and still live the same life as right now, maybe i'm gonna regret having this thoughts..haha..hopefully it'll be good, insyaAllah..~

Sunday, November 29, 2009

meat weekend~

selamat hari raya aidiladha..it's finally our mid term break! one week only..yeah...huhuh

anyway, next week i'm officially out of serdang campus..for another 8 weeks? then have to go back to serdang for 2 weeks? haih..all my life spent in upm is about moving here and there..so tired! but what to do..only less than 6 months left..then hopefully i'll leave this place in peace..amiiinnnnn~

there's one thing that i couldnt understand since the past few days. it bothers me at first but now....i just thought..whatever! i dun understand why people never explains..but if they think not explaining is better, then it's fine. coz i think i'm getting used to people like that..all the time! whatever..~ i think something is wrong with me coz i keep losing people around me, but these people just left and never tell me what is wrong so that i can change. i assume it has to be my fault, but truthfully, i dun even know what i did wrong..really dun know..it cant be their fault if the same thing keep happening to me? it cant be that i'm destined to meet the same people who's going to leave in the end? it has to be my fault, but really can't figure out what is it... aigoo aigoo~

Friday, November 13, 2009

ho yeah..~

Finished my ortho exam today! Yay! I hope I did well..huhu..somehow I feel a little bit disappointed coz I couldn’t present my case well..stumble upon my words. Argh..my English has not really been good but now I can feel it’s getting worse especially when I speaks. The right word doesn’t come out like what I have in my mind. Heh~

Anyway, I’ve been spending the last 12 hours watching videos and more videos.. yaaa.. case write up number 2 belum siap lagi..got 2 more days and 2 more weeks left for our ortho posting, really want to do it well since it’s our only chance before we finish our study. But as much as I want to do well and concentrate on my studies, I am easily distracted by the Korean entertainment thing right now.

I just can’t stop myself from downloading..and downloading..currently having interest to watch IRIS- as the rating for every episode is high, so it must be some good drama isn’t it? But at the same time also I don’t want to miss my almost-forgotten crush Jang Geun Seuk acting in You’re Beautiful! Haih..~~ since the rising interest in DBSK, now all my old Korean drama habits came again..i’ve stopped watching Korean dramas a few years (or a year?) ago, last time was Hong Gil Dong (with Geun Seuk of course..) then going back to American series and now going back to Korean series (plus Korean variety shows and Idols thingy right now!) even worst..we only have less than 6 months to final professional xm!


Currently I’m loving ‘Park Bom-You & I’. sweet!:)

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

novemberrrr~~

Ah..it’s been so long..’long time no see’! Haha
Anyways, our final medical dinner just ended a few days ago..it was great! Really! But I was too exhausted I couldn’t enjoy the performances, but I know it was good. So thumbs up for 2nd yr juniors!
Not so many pictures taken coz camera ran out of battery. Last minute preparation. Uhuk!
Post dinner..i got fever and flu. Luckily just low grade fever but the past 2 days I slept early and not studying. Ortho exam is next week!
Aaaa..orthooo..examm..sekejap je dah nak abis posting nih.. ok ke ni? Takott..rasa cam posting intro medicine and surgery dulu..this time tak seblur dlu but stilllll..haih..God, please help me..as on today, only 187 days left before the pro xm..huhhh~

Ah, going back to reality..please study hard..then so many things I want to do after this..화이팅!!!!

Sunday, September 27, 2009

raya on our own

anyway, selamat hari raya aidilfitri, maaf zahir batin. sorry to all my frens coz i didnt really sent out sms or emails or wall post on fb to wish hari raya..bcoz..i was not in a good mood prior to this hari raya..so many things happened justttt before raya..and justtt before ramadhan ends. cobaan~ bukannye ape sangat, but when one massive stressful thing happened, it can trigger all the stressful memories to appear..again and again (mcm lagu 2pm..hehe)huhu....~

so this year, we (me and my sisters) were celebrating hari raya in airport. we went to KLIA on the first night of raya--> parents going to Stockholm..we went to Subang airport on 2nd day --> our beloved doctor starts working on 2nd day..and last but not least LCCT on 4th day --> sending off our brother back to Kuching..that's the beginning of 'doing our own things' at home during holiday..haha..procrastinating and going out to shopping malls. luckily it's raya time, so we dun have to worry much about foods. and yeah, because it's raya, i GAINED 2 KG!!

and not to forget, congrats to Wawa on her engangement..:):)

oh yeah, i'm breaking the rules againnn (junsu's part)..kehkehkeh..i got Mirotic the 4th album..yeah..(best2)..but i like secret code better, i think..but i still love themmm ^-^

oh, and during this raya break, i didn't fail to study other things which unrelated to medicine. this time, i'm studying korean hangul..kahkah..at least now, i can read words written in korean..heh..tapi tak terer lagi, i need some time to spell and read it properly, haha..but now, when i see the korean writings, it's not so foreign to me like before :P *wink2*

this is the last day of raya break. cepat pulak masa berlalu. i hope my parents will arrive safely tomorrow.

last but not least, let's study orthopedics!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

oppppssss..

ahhaaa...

yesterday's bukak pose session was the best..hee..thanks dayah! arigatou...!

and i did it..uhuh...

guess what i did? i break the code..'The Secret Code'..and it reveals 5 gorgeous guys with great songs and dance moves..yay!! i love them! tohoshinki des! *excited excited*

2 more days..tak sabar nak cuti but at the same time trying to develop interest in new orthopaedic posting..huuuu

oh yea, i forgot to write down about our batch gathering last saturday. it was great and fun..haha.. especially during our 'coffee talk' session in OldTown..i felt like we were filming 'Happy Together' show during that time..haha..but i was sleepy the whole time. heh.. anyway, it was great to see all those people who came..really, everyone has grown up. most of them has got their degree and started working already. cool..i have 236 days to go..arkk..but still need to improve in soooo many things. hwaiting! (^o^)~

Saturday, September 12, 2009

finding lost time..

yesterday was officially my last day in ObGyn Department...and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....i want to scream..i dun know why but the past one week i'm a bit lost..i worried about so many things that in the end i didn't study as well as i should.. and yeah, it shows in my exam yesterday, my examiner said i did the worst among others. haih~ it seems i've completed my Obs notes but actually i havent read it thoroughly, just flipping through pages, as if i knew everything already. then when i got PPROM for my exam, hah, there you go..i can't even put things into pieces and screwed up..listening to fetal heart with Pinnard some more..ooohhh..doushite..doushiteee..~~i was so blur the whole week that i even forgot to call my parents before going to xm, which i normally do, to get their blessings. after coming back home only i realized that. i passed, but i'm disappointed in myself for not knowing why i was like that and wasted my whole week for nothing. *dush dush!*

anyway, so far my performance is going down, compare to 4th year..why? i dun know. but i thought i did well, but in exam it just shows that i've been so perasan the whole time. haha..so, new posting starts next week --> Ortho! hope i will get out from my misery and do well. hwaiting! il yeolshimhihae!

Monday, August 17, 2009

just one..

last 2 days was our finishing school program and i cant believe that i actually attend all the sessions. yes, i was one of the many people who complaints about it and was like ' no i'm not going!'. but at the end of the day, when so many people using 'oncall' as an excuse, i thought it was pretty lame and yeah, i decided to attend all the sessions even though i am actually on call on that day.

anyway, yes, at first i thought it was not relevant for any of us, because after we graduate, we'll be working in one of the hospital in malaysia which would definitely train us as a houseman. it's true, in terms of fresh graduates, compare to other courses, we don't need to do resume and going through the job hunt. but later on in the future, the program is actually useful if we are talking about post housemanship thing. now i know what i have to anticipate and prepare for things in the future, it actually helps to broaden my views about working life.

so, now i'm doing my senior ObGyn posting..2nd week already. hope i'll improve! aja!

Saturday, August 1, 2009

new love

haa..i'm writing again? huhu..too many free time at home.eh...

anyway, this unexpected holiday really makes me lazeeeeyy..i've not been doing anything except study........!study about DBSK aka Tohoshinki aka TVXQ! hahahaha..will this help in my Pro 3 May next yr? definitely NOT! so terok..haih..can anyone help me? help me to stop doing nothing and start doing sumthing.

3 days..3 days at home and not studying anything. huwaaa..feel bad, but whenever i start to open my book, my brain suddenly feels like not having enough oxygen getting there and i feel sleepy. but when i start watching DBSK in YouTube, i feel so refreshing, my heart is beating fast, my eyes are wide open and i'm focusing on them (especially YooChun!*faints*:P). i should feel like this when i'm reading medical books. but why? doushite?mou doushite (jaejoong's style.hehe)....why is it so hard for me to focus????

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.. [please listen to DBSK-One..the song is great! :) ]

Thursday, July 30, 2009

fighting the extra weight!

it's been awhile..malas nak menaip..lots of things happened since i last updated this thing

6th july: sem baru start. start posting senior paediatric. first week --> failed short case.2x. (both developmental assessment), need to perform1 more to compensate.huhu. new 1st year juniors. buddy baru. welcome!

28th july: upm tutup. ade case h1n1. xsure kat k17 ade ke, but everyone was forced to leave the college. huhu. mixed feelings. yang sure, syukur sbb dah habis xm..xm?????

in btwn 6th-28th july..cam biase je..posting paeds. harry potter dah kuar, xsmpat tgk lagi.. transformers lagi la xtgk lagi..dah habis kot. plan nk tgk hari abis xm tu, tp tibe2 sume kne blk plak, lmbt lagi la nmpknye. haha.

xm..? hopefully ok. long case-relapse nephrotic syndrome. short case- abdomen and respi. now i know where my weak point is.(esp in respi) to correlate all the findings and try to summarize everything and come up with a diagnosis! 2x dpt pleural effusion, findings btul, diagnosis salah. huhu. work hard!

currently: total addiction to 'doushitte kimi wo suki ni natte shimattan darou'..DBSK! thanks to this one blog, tak ingtlak yg mane, tp die ade ltk lagu tu kt blog die. trus jatuh cinta, tp time tu xde prasaan ingin tau psl penyanyi die lg. dah tgh cuti ni ade time nk explore DBSK. fall in love with them after watching videos of their live performance. so great! and attracted to micky. keh2. dah lame takde crush kt org ni, busy sgt. (poyo)

so far, i've cut down the extra weights and my BMI is normal but still not in a safe range. kne cut down lagi..xsampai target lg pn. duration smpai october, tp in 3 weeks manage to lose half of my target already. now need to maintain and lose more. if it wasn't due to my last visit to my gynaecologist..and also motivated by 'the biggest loser'! so great. so amazing. living life the healthy way!ajaaaa!!!!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

you say aku..~

"baby baby my baby..you drive me crazy..lalalala"

currently listening to that song, best pulak. takde la follow sangat crite Upik Abu & Laura tu, kadang2 tengok cam kelakar, kadang2 menyampah pun ada. huhu..stakat ni lepas blk rumah, jadual TV pn berubah. ntahla, i'm not really into TV programs. klau rasa nak follow, follow. klau dah bosan, malas nak tgk.

baru 3 hari cuti, dah bosan..but actually there's so much to do. ingat lima perkara sebelum lima perkara..jangan buang masa, chaiyok2!

things to do:
1- kemas buku2 lame...
2- kemas barang2 kat kampung baru (sob2)
3- pulangkan kunci kt office
4- beli hadiah utk birthday ma (14th June)
5- hadiah utk Father's day (bulan ni kan? but bile eh?)
6- update notes2..uhuk2
7- work out..huhuh..!
8- ehm..pe lagi eh..?

my last cuti before starting my 5th year. final year. soon.

nak mulakan sem baru dengan hati yang tenang. benda yang only a few days past, of course will take time to be forgotten. the wasted 5 weeks. ohhh..my heart still hurts thinking about it. huhu. moving on but takes time......

Monday, June 8, 2009

here at home~



this month only so many people are getting married. congratulations! and of course, to munie yang baru je bertunang a few days ago, congrats! i'm so happy for everybody. they found someone they want to spend their life with. i love weddings. but i haven't got the chance to attend the one that i've been invited. huhu.

i was also clearing up my closet this morning sbb dah berbukit bukau. anyway, i just realized that i had one Dorothy Perkin's t-shirt that i bought in London 8 years ago..and it was actually a maternity t-shirt! hahah..all this while i didn't noticed at all. after 8 years.....

a few weeks more before starting new semester. this is my Day 1 of holiday..yay!

Friday, May 15, 2009

halfway to go~

three weeks more then i'm going back home for good. at least for a month, before stepping into the 5th year. one more year. so cuak. anyway, 3 weeks in KB, so far so good. at least we manage to hide our location, keh2. but when people live a little bit or maybe too far away and too long from family, things sometimes can't be good. hmm~

anyway, surgery posting is d best! hehe. mayb becoz there's no 'kiasu'2 people around and only us there, so we got great opportunities to learn. and i learnt a lot. thanks to d nice doctors, surgeons and surgeons-to-be dat are willing to teach us :P but there are still lots of things to revise, terlupa plak nk bwk notes, at least bleh trus update kan. huhu

oh, i definitely not going to forget about Hartmann's procedure. InsyaAllah :)

still have lots of places to visit. nak pegi shopping lagi.

my vacation that i've planned long ago nampaknye tak menjadi la. not a good time to travel or going to airport with this swine flu thing still around. stuck for another year here. haih~

i guess i'm not supposed to make any plans this year. so i'm not gonna plan to diet or lose weight, coz i know it won't happen. haha. whatever will be, will be~

Friday, April 17, 2009

one-hour hospital admission

today, something is totally wrong with me. i don't know what is it but it's just not right. i woke up today feeling healthy and good, driving to kg baru from my home, attend my bedside teaching, even do a short case with my lecturer today. then boommm..ceh, mcm ape je. heheh. anyway, i was suddenly feeling like i'm going to pass out, my hands are extremely cold and cyanosed, and i feel my body is burning up. thanks to my beloved lecturer, he noticed me and able to get me a bed :)...in antenatal ward..sweet..the nurses thought i'm pregnant. (huhu). i almost believe that there is an air cond in the ward, it was so cold but yeah, i'm definitely hallucinating. thanks to my friends who helped taking my VS. :D

anyway, i hope i'll be in a good state of health before my exam this wednesday. please, i want to do well in this final posting in our 4th year. before stepping into the 5th year. just a few days more. chaiyok!

Monday, April 6, 2009

unplanned

last week, i planned so many things:

a) I planned to go through our attachment in gynae ward with peace in my mind..huhu
b) I planned to go to see my doctor and hear good news
c) I planned to drive my car (of course)
d) I planned to attend Khidmat Masyarakat program on Saturday
e) I planned to go to ward on Sunday to find my last CWU
f) I planned to study for exam this Tuesday (tomorrow)

but NONE of it happen last week

Unexpected things happened. So unpredictable

One thing that makes all the bad things feel good is..
to have your family around
to have EVERYONE in your family gathers
for this unforgettable moment

Al fatihah buat Abg Aaseem who passed away on 4th April 2009. Semoga roh beliau dicucuri rahmat dan ditempatkan di kalangan orang yang beriman.



Kita hanya merancang, Allah yang menentukannya..~

--> I'm smart enough not to act stupidly and hurt the one that i respect most

Sunday, March 29, 2009

lost and found..~

When things just get too much for me to handle, there will be someone who'll give me motivational words. it seems like Allah send that person to me right when I need it. and I usually get all these words of wisdom from patients. they are the one who contributes most to my learning. I learned from them about their illness and how their view about life.

Today, i approached a patient in hoping to get a case for write up. In the middle of conversation, suddenly she was talking about how we should be passionate about our work. and it hits me when she mentioned about sincerity and honesty in gaining knowledge. No matter how stressful our life is, if we are passionate about it, there will be satisfaction at the end of it. Right now I don't feel the satisfaction yet, maybe because I'm not passionate enough. i realized that I've not been really sincere and i don't even know what I'm pursuing in my life. Maybe I need to take some time to think about it. And learn how to be passionate about what I'm involved with. Still searching for the 'sparks' in my life and still trying to figure out the better way to learn.

Yep, but now I have to prepare for tomorrow's presentation, I hope things will be better this week..one more week..huhu~~~

Friday, March 27, 2009

argh~

The reason we want to be a doctor is to help people, whether they’re sick or healthy… that’s what a doctor do. Doctors don’t just treat sick people but they help healthy people to stay healthy. A doctor’s job is to help to treat the illness, prevent people from getting worse or at least make someone’s life better even if there’s nothing can be done. If being a doctor is such a noble job to you, why would anyone who wants to be a doctor would ever wish for people to get sick? I don’t know what is wrong with these people but I think they’re the one who’s sick. I’m tired… Such a nuisance!


I feel like screaming so loud so that all the stresses will go away but my eyes is doing the job causing my cheek to be wet…and my nose is producing this weird watery stuff. Yikes!~

Sunday, March 15, 2009

break away!

after 4 weeks of pretending being a nerd, finally i take a break and went out yesterday! yeah! but today, i'm worried thinking about tomorrow. a new week..............!

yesterday I went out with my sister and my roomate. We visited the education fair at the MVEC, then only we found out that it was supposed to be for SPM school leavers. haha. tapi redah je la, and amik all the free gifts (yeah). maybe we do look like only sevenTeen..sbb ade jugak orang datang tanye 'adik berminat nak amik course ape?'. hahaha.. so hilarious!~ :P

anyway, I bought a new pair of sandals.. I hope this one lasts longer since the price is damn 'good'. haha.. I guess I need to try to lose weight coz sometimes I think my legs and shoes can't handle my weight, that's why everytime I need to stand longer my legs will definitely feel like nak tercabut. and my shoes usually don't last long. ~

i think one day off is good enough. it's time to continue pretending to be a nerd for the rest of the posting :D

I'm expecting a tough and hard times in the next 3 weeks. there's so much to learn! aja! :)

Friday, March 13, 2009

another day...~

I have about half an hour before I'm going to leave my room, but it is raining heavily now on this beuatiful Friday morning..makes me want to go to sleep again..anyway, I'm supposed to be reading a bit but so malas now la..

Yesterday I was doing my so-called on call (hehe) and I was talking to this nice HO..all the others HO are also nice..after talking to her, I feel like I have this new thing..mcm mane ek, it's like opening my mind a bit. hehe. now i realized that I was so rigid with things. Have to finish study by 2010, start working straight away, finished my training in 2 years, become MO, work in community, go back to hospital, then continue working until maybe I have the chance to continue with postgraduate, or maybe just be a GP..then work work work. hah! see..I don't even have plans for my life. A woman's life is not complete until she delivers baby and starts breastfeeding. hehe..so maybe after finish my 5th year I should get married first. sounds good.

but I have problems with that also. haih..~ asking people to find a partner and get married is easy, but to do it is not easy. or am I just making it difficult for myself? I don't know. I'm kinda like living this way right now but as the time goes by, still have to think for my future life..huhu.

I guess I'm talking all this is because I'm seeing women, expecting moms, babies and their husbands a lot nowadays. haha. and for the facts that natural fertility reduces after 25 years and seeing some couple who has difficulties in conceiving, seeing new moms delivering babies, seeing cute babies around, seeing husbands giving support to their wife..just another chapter in life..a bit too much maybe. baru sebulan.haha..poyyyyoooo jehhh~

Anyway, I have another one month to go. I hope things will be okay. A little bit of embarassment from being scolded and making mistakes should be fine because this is new and still trying to learn things. If three previous group before this can survive all this, I bet I can too! I'm trying to be optimistic even though I do feel like a slight hypothyroid..huuuhuuu (my hypothyroid laugh) :P

Monday, February 23, 2009

16 weeks gravid uterus....

We just started ObGyn posting last week, and it was full of suspense..bukan ape, ade palpitations, sweaty palms, shortness of breath, heat intolerance..i thought i might be having hyperthyroidism. but it was not possible because i don't have loss of weight even though I eat A LOT! huhu. then, I found out that the heat intolerance was due to the hot weather in KL and my palpitations, sweaty pals and SOB was just anxious feelings sebab kelas dr R dah nak start. haha

counting days before our elective posting, bestnye, dapat pegi KB. klau dapat pegi oversea mesti best jgk tapi malas nak apply. haha. lgpun malas nak cari tempat, tiket flight etc. buat local pun ok, lepas tu baru pegi bercuti la.hehe =) it's just a plan, hopefully i pass my ObGyn and also Community!aminn.. budak group lain dah wish 'welcome to 5th year' after our group finished Paeds and Psych the other day, but..anything is possible. tapi orang kate, bersangka baik sesama manusia, bersangka baik dekat Allah s.w.t jgk. InsyaAllah, sume akan ok. Kalau tak ok pun, mula2 je, ade hikmah di sebaliknye.

I got my first wedding invitation the other day tp sayangnye tak dapat pegi. Tempat jauh, masa pun xsesuai coz tgh ade klas. Macam tak percaya je skg ni dah musim people my age getting married. haha. Ade je yang dah kahwin lagi muda tp bile rmai2 sekaligus nak kawin ni..isk..haha.takdela, hopefully sume bahagia la. lagipun belum ade mmber2 rapat yang kawin, so kire ok lagi la tu. yeah. 'Don't get attracted to external factors only'. ^-^~

*currently listening to The Script- I'm Yours :)

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Moved

I have 1 day before starting new posting: ObGyn (or also known as, 'scary posting', 'stressful posting', 'mind-physical-emotionally challenging posting' etc) haha..that's what i heard from my friends from the group that had finished the posting. Anyway, I've decided to continue writing in this page, and stop writing in Friendster. Saje je, kat sini boleh link2 dengan page orang lain. I don't know if FS can, malas nak explore.

FYI, I have an account a year ago (if you check my archives) but then I forgot my password and completely forgot that I have an account. It's just today only I remember and decided to use blogspot. I was reading and following this blog regarding Sejarah Nagara Kedah, Empayar Islam Benua Siam Kedah~ it's very interesting, just started reading today. I am interested in history, it's one of my favorite subject at school. But after reading a few articles from the page, I think it's a waste if what we learn from school is just another twisted stories made up by those who have things to hide. Hurm.

I'm still 2 years behind from the recent posts. Got lots more to catch up. ObGyn lagi to come. 1 more day....chaiyok2!:)

LOVE~


I'm writing today sempena 14th February, aka Love Day..ye ke? I don't know, but it was supposed to be a day with red roses, cupid and everything red. Hm. I definitely don't and won't take part in such day..

Last week I was too bored I answered some quizzes in FB, haha. One of it is 'What type of girlfriend are you?' and my result is I am the 'Dream Girl'.haha. I wish that's true..anyway, what i'm highlighting today is the one with title ' Why are you still single?'. They say I was "Not trying hard enough". Huhu.So how? what should I do? How hard should I try? I don't even know the answer.

Well, I do have a crush on one person right now. It's been a long time ago, but I don't know whether I can say it is real because we have not meet each other in person. I'm not going to ask him, because it's against my principles even though I do hope to meet him. Contradicting statement isn't it? I don't know, it's something like 'I want but I don't want' thing. But, i'm satisfied with our situation right now, as long as he still wants to talk to me, I feel thankful enough. The last thing I ever want in my life is for him to avoid me and if it happens after I tried taking a step closer, I'll regret it for the rest of my life. So, I choose not to try hard enough coz I'm scared of the possible negative consequences. Does that make me a loser? For not trying? I don't know, but you live with what you believe. I believe thing will be just fine for me. I can't even tell whether my feelings are real, but it gives me comfort and good feelings just to see him.Haha. And I believe when it's time, there will be someone who will find me. Maybe he's already there but not aware of my existence. You'll never know. :P.

Anyway, the reason I'm still single is because I choose to be single. For now. But at the same time I'm just like any other girl, who dreams of marriage, family and love. It's just I feel like it was hard to concentrate on my studies and at the same time trying to figure out who the right person is. It takes a lot of time and energy, making me feel exhausted~emotionally.

What happened in my Year 3 really gives me a valuable lesson. The Professional II, Remedial Class and My Almost Canceled Trip. Gosh. That's when I decided to close the 'Love' chapter in my book (temporarily) and trying hard to be a good student and gaining my confidence to get through my med school. Medical school is important for me, for many reasons which I can't tell now. There's something deep inside that I know why it is important for me. It's not the money, fame or the title. It's more than that.

Oh, dah masuk Zohor dah. So, till here for now. I wish happiness for those who are in love. I want to send LOVE to my family..and friends :)

~currently listening to: Mirage by Pesawat