surprise surprise

tik tok tik tok..only a few minutes left while i'm writing this entry..anyway, i have to write this before i go to sleep, or else it would be meaningless if i write about this later..hehe

thank you so much guys!hehe..i'm totally speechless, and of course surprised! didn't expect this at all..totally clueless..well, what happened? hmmmm..:)

*flashback*

i was totally doing nothing around 8 pm..i was rolling on d carpet while watching KBS song festival..was hoping to see 2PM performed but i guess they won't appear so soon..then i was watching 'Take Me Out', definitely my first time watching the show, while thinking hm, do i have to appear on TV show later if i still can't find my partner in the future? haha..definitely won't do that! then suddenly i feel like checking my phone and there was a sms from fiza..she said she was down and asked me out for a drink..i rarely go out at night, especially if i am at home, so i immediately ask my parents permission..haha, so much for a 'counselling session'..while waiting for her i was thinking what could be the problem..but when i went out from my doorstep i was totally surprised by a birthday song in front of my house..i saw sarah holding a birthday cake with the candles then arifah appears..i was speechless..they came all the way from Klang..huhu..definitely clueless and didnt expect this kind of birthday surprise..that was so sweet..really :) *sob sob* and the birthday card..hehe..really really thankful, even though 'happy birthday' becomes 'bogoshipda' in korean..hehe..i won't ever forget this moment ..coz i keep it safe in this entry :)

suddenly i remembered 6 years ago when Yan, Zai and Aida (my rumate in matrix) did the same birthday surprise to me..actually i was more surprised to see the guest..hahaha..they invited 'my crush' to celebrate my birthday...hahaha..seriously unexpected and now i feel funny thinking how did i had crush on that person, keke...;P

anyway, i better sleep now..have to prepare for the course tomorrow..i hope the course will enlighten  me with new knowledge..and i'll try my best to share with others..nite XOXO :)

oh..and i'm expecting a lot of birthday wishes :P thank you all for the wishes..thank you Allah for giving me a chance to still live until today :)

closing time...~~

today is my last day of being 24..haha..so sentimental..anyway, i'm post night off and tomorrow i'm on leave..who would want to be working and feeling tired on your big day? hehe..

so much things happened for this whole week. i had my 2nd rotation in resus zone..my 1st time was ok, i was learning to be familiar with things. this time i learned more..and a lot..i even had to do a procedure on my own..i was so nervous and worried if i caused complication to my patient..and i'm curious to his real diagnosis so i will follow up on him, huhu..anyway, things are so unpredictable..i would say anything is really possible.. like a patient who came in with MI and completed strep, right before he was transferred out i saw him alive only a few hours later to hear that the patient collapsed and died in ward..i was shocked..

all of these things that i gone through will remind me that medicine is an interesting field, just in case i might feel like giving up later, who knows..haha..when i first started my years in school, people will always ask why i chose this field. i dont even know why..no inspiring stories or particular reason for it..but after going through clinical years i realized i was able to meet people from different walk of life..and after working i met more people..not just patients but also those who had worked with me..it's interesting..and my close relatives keep remind me to always have good intentions while working~

i am really feeling sentimental out of a sudden. hehe. anyway, it's the last day so it was really a closing time..for everything that i didnt achieve for this year..i would like to put on hold on certain things, and try to concentrate more on working for now..soooo many thingss i wanna doooo...and sooooo many things i want to improve myself...not just in work, but in all my aspects in life..lately i've always remind me about a lecture i listened a while ago..it was something like 'what would you do if one day Prophet s.a.w knocks on your door?'..what would i do? surely i havent done enough..so let's work hard for the new days aheadd..:)

curseday

haha..the title already showed i had a bad day..yes..even from the moment i woke up from sleep everything went wrong..woke up late and missed my sahur..huh..arrived at workplace by 7 am got new case came for clerking already..hmm..starting from 12 pm patient just dun stop coming in..a lot of orders not carried out,everything pending..haih~the worst thing is nothing made my day..not even a simple greeting or smile..i tried to cry but my tear glands are not working, ergh..hee, so dramatic~


oh and i forgot to bring back my book again!! i wonder what will happen to it..tawakkal je la~

anyway what makes my day even worst was..i gained 1 kg over a day! i was supposed to be fasting and working non stop whole day but i gained weight..huwaaa..>_<

this kind of feelings remind me of my previous thursday am shift..feel like i'm back to square one..

just do some workout and stop whining!

aigoo~~

annoying & irritating

i should be studying or reading something since i got free time but i don't know why i can't concentrate..so i'm spilling my thoughts here, as usual..

anyway, the past few days had been okay..some things happened that made me feel good and it gives me good motivation to work harder( fighting2!)..but some things just irritates me, like a drunken fella who had an accident and difficult to access his GCS..egh..why do people drink?! oh, and some people can't respect others by blowing their smoke directly to my directions like...eghh..please la.dun dragged other people in if you're harming yourself. so annoying..and some people took my book (with my name on it) that i accidentally left on a desk and returned it back 2 days later thinking i wouldnt find out about it..it was right in front of my eyes, so obvious yet dun have a courtesy to at least inform me that you took my book to photocopy it..yahh!!~ hmmphh~

today my friend and I were discussing about our so-called 'Dream Team'..haha..from our fave specialist to MO to AMO to SN/JM and PPK..hahaha..berangan je lebih..not that we have anyone as our favorite in particular..but thinking about it made me laugh so bad..hehe..funny funny..at least this kind of things made forget about the unhappy feelings i had haha :P

just a few days left before this year gonna end..again, its time for me to start counting days ^^

2 more weeks

i was about going to sleep but suddenly i feel like randomly writing an entry here.no particular subjects to write about. probably a little bit about work and my progress in life..haha..whatever sangat

anyway, work is okay..it's getting interesting each day but i still have a lot to learn. i feel i'm getting used to the new environment and liking it, hopefully it will lasts till the end. last time when i was in medical i used to hate ED for admitting so many medical patients. haha. now i'm in ED i understand why. coz the people cant just stop coming to the hospitals..there are always sick people everyday, every hour, every minute and every seconds. huhu..not that i'm whining bout it, just i felt guilty thinking bout how i was insincere when i was in medical. now i'm sure those in medical would hate it just as much as i did but i cant blame them coz they havent been here. 

anyway, there are always ways to get some motivation while working..haha..i got mine :P..i know in next few years i'll be laughing at myself for this kind of motivation, hahaha, but at least it made me happy to come to work. and talking about sincerity, again i am reminded by this kind of feelings you get when you're sincere. you won't feel annoyed..at all..seriously! but sometimes as a not so perfect human, there's this tiny part in my heart which has less blood supply and almost become ischemic that sometimes had ungrateful thoughts. hehe..i have to control it before it became infarcted, that time i would definitely lose all my sincerities..please don't ever let it happen, ya Allah~

i dun know what else to rumble about..hurm, less than 2 weeks left to remind me of the day i was expelled out of my mummy's womb..alhamdulillah for everything, i'll always remind myself to be grateful. hopefully something good will happen next year too..aminnn ya Rabb :)

s.t.u.p.i.d

today was d most difficult day for me..after almost 3 weeks working in this red department, i've never felt so stupid and more stupid...huhu..at this stage, after finishing most of my major postings, i should be able to manage simple things on my own..yeah, i did..but today things are not that simple..well, compare to few days ago when there were 2 of us, this is my first time seeing such cases on my own..n hell yea, i'm blur! i feel like a moron for panicking over hyperventilation attack..haha..what a fool..then there were other cases keep coming in at one time i couldnt breathe..i was holding my bladder for d rest of day i can feel it's almost exploding..huuu..at the end of my shift i felt like i irritated my MOs..wahaha (gelak tak ikhlas)

anyway, while driving back i was thinking what should i do after a long and tiring day? while i was thinking hard suddenly i realized i was in Empire shopping mall already..i was thinking of having a cup of hot coffee..so i tried out a new coffee shop..i thought it was cool, having a hot coffee of rm 9..but i got shocked after seeing the size of d cup..hahahah..jokerrrrssssss...at least it made me smile at myself..another stupid thing to do..buying a sample-size free drink of rm 9..watever..then i went to a another shop, it was also my first time there..i ordered my food and drinks and it costs me more than rm 50 for a coffee n sandwich..but i was thinking, ha maybe today is the day where i buy all the expensive food..so i just paid without asking much..luckily the worker realized bout it and give me back the extra amount i paid for.they were like..'u paid for it??'..and i felt like another fool..hahaha..i cant believe how stupid i was..~haih

i feel so tired and my body aches everywhere..especially my back..ouchh...i wish i have my Hyun Ki Jun, who would be interested in knowing Goh Ah Jung's daily mood..but i am definitely not Goh Ah Jung and my life is no fairy tale..at the end of the day no one knows how difficult today was for me except Allah..and i thought i could just bear with it..nevermind if my MOs think i'm a fool, nevermind if my colleagues think i can't handle my own things, nevermind it other thinks i'm not capable enough..i'm actually working in the busiest ED in my country (as quoted by my HOD)..hahaha..fighting sarah..try harder everyday!:)