talking to the moon

well, i love that song..it sounds like a good idea to talk to the moon since you cant tell everything to everyone bout some things..not even a family member or a close friend..there are some things that only Allah knows..yes..but its a bit crazy to talk to the moon anyway..haha


anyway, i hope i'll do well in this posting..i know i'm a bit slow and i dont get much opportunity compare with my colleagues but its okay...even though things become tough n hard, dun ever lose ur spirit n sincerity..fightingggg...i'm always gonna be okay! (while doing 'OK' dance)^-^

ss3!!

well..have to write this.yesterday arin was here..yeah..feels great to be able to meet all my old friends..:) apparently this time she came because of super show 3..ah, i missed it..haha..so its been a year la since the last concert..so quick d time passed by..i remembered last time it was near to our final exam but we still go..and thankfully it didnt affect our results..hehe..and yes, this time i still wish DBSK will be together n come for a tour..sad sad :( we had a gud dinner yesterday n again, i cant stop shopping! oh my god..please behave yourself! (i'm scolding myself) and yes, arin didnt fail to introduce me a new gadget..for sure i wanna have it! :P

ahhhhhhhh..i feel like screaming..i dun know why but i think something is missing..but i also dun know wat it is...confused confused..but its my 2nd week n i think i dun learn much yet..probably my expectation of this posting is too high..wehuu..i want to be sincere in my work..i hope i wont ever lose it..fightinggggg!!! ^-^

going green

aaaaahhh..i wanted to post on d day we got back from our trip but i was so tired and have to get back to work on d very next day..soooo...it's almost one week in dis new posting..and yeah, i didnt fail to get any scoldings..wahhhaaa..so depressing at dat moment..but watever, words had been said it's up to me to take it in a positive or negative way..anyway, i dun know what got into me yesterday but i cant believe i forgot to complete my specialist's request..that one, it's suicidal..obviously my fault but i cant find the reason why it slipped my mind..huuuu..crazyyyy crazyyy.hopefully nothing like dat ever happen again or else...i dun know, i may need to write myself a psychiatric referral for 'attempting suicide'..huhu

anyway, i cant believe i would have this feeling, but i missed paeds..really..haha..back then 4 months ago during my tagging time i totally hate it and i thought by the time i'm changing posting i wont missed it, but yes i am..huu..but i have to move on..still have a long way to go..and sometimes still wondering this and that...hmmm..hmmm~~ alrite..i lost my words already..like always, my ideas to write always stop halfway..i hope i'll improve..fighting!!! :)

hana dul set...~~~

hey ho..this is probably my last weekend off..the next 2 weeks i'll be busy with tagging then dun know how things gonna be after this..dun know which posting im going next..hopefully by tomorrow or day after i can settle everything, then by wednesday i can go on holiday with peace..at this moment i really really wanna meet my old friends.. 나의 친구...!!! sob2...2 more days..be patient..everything will be good..an acquaintance said i shouldn't bother bout this and dont let trivial matters like this clutter my mind..currently i love listening to Dream High OST..JUn.K's song is not bad..love it! hope the next few months will be good and i wont ever lose my sincerity! fighting! :):)

back to december

oh hoo..things are not so good lately..but i had a few great moment by myself..and i'm thankful to God, maybe it's time for Allah to test me after giving me a good time..anyway, i finally found it..found the satisfaction in doing sumthing with sincerity..i remembered last time i was wondering is dat even possible? and yes, now i know how great it feels when u do something with sincerity..:) i'll remember this and if i'm gonna become insincere, i'll recall this particular time..

anyway, sumthing not so good also happened. d last few weeks i apparently got mad with a colleague. i dun know why, but everytime i try to rationalize things i'll just feel angry trying to think about it..i thought maybe i was wrong and i even had said sorry, but when i try to think what went wrong i cant find d answer. probably because i kept everything for so long i just cant stand it anymore. i feel like d boundaries had been crossed. i dun know what kind of boundary, but it feels dat way.. n d worst part is i cant even tell the details to a close friend. i dunno, probably it was my own problem coz i'm scared it'll affect everyone's relationship..so i have to held it in..but yesterday it was as if i had reach my limit n i really need some time to b alone.. i thought i'll be okay so i just go along..but apparently, not..my chest felt so heavy n i need to cry..at one moment i feel like running away n cry, but it was too dramatic..so i held it in for a few hours..by the time my working hours end, dats when i bursts into tears..along d way i was driving home i was crying..i didnt know i had such a weak heart..n because of dat, i feel like it has made my friend felt bad..but really, if given a chance i wouldnt know how to explain. probably dats just the consequences of holding everything in for so long, everything got mixed up and i got confused which one is really d cause of it..

i dunno wat to do..so now, i'm wishing dat there'll be a nice script for me so dat it's easy for me to explain and i wish sumone would write my life story in a better way..ya Allah, forgive me for my wrongdoings and please guide me to become a better person..amiin~~ -_-

a new week

so today is the last day i'm having my holiday..it's greattt...but tomorrow have to go back to work..hmm..not that i hate it, just that i really hope this last few weeks will be good..pleaseee...truthfully, i enjoyed working..but biasela, bile dah lepak2 ni rasa malas pun mula melanda..keke

anyway, alhamdulillah yesterday we arrived home safely..and my stomach also did not cause me any problem..alhamdulillah..i was so worried, ye la, from kelantan to gerik je dah nak dekat 4 hours, and the R&R also not very comfortable..kehe..so if anything happen during that time, wat am i supposed to do?? huhu..luckily, everything was fine, and yes, again, we arrived safely (if not, i wouldnt be writing this right?) :P

last night i asked from God an answer to my question..but somehow, i got a dream..but i'm not sure whether that dream is the answer or not..it's getting me confused..hm, it's okay, let's not think so much about it..i'm sure someday God will give me the answer..someday we'll know...lalalala..ho yeahhh~~~ ^-^

holidayyyy

it's my 2nd day of holiday..n i'm in my sister's place now..yess..i'm in KB a.k.a newcastle..such a long flight..keke..nothing much, yesterday visited my uncle and cousin, today i should be visiting them again, cause its been a long time since i came back, but i'm not feeling well..my stomach is punishing me..huuu..it's neither diarrhea nor constipation..it's just..how do i say it..a painful change in bowel habit..haha..cam klakar je.. :P but really, i only hope tomorrow at least for 7-8 hours it wont cause me any problem..please please..such a long drive tomorrow..i just want to have a comfortable journey..

anyway, next week have to start working again...hmmm...oh yea, n presentation was postponed again..erk, suddenly i'm having thought block..i cant remember what to write anymore..so till ere..hope we have a safe journey tomorrow..aminnn~~ ^-^