Friday, August 31, 2012

merdeka day

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

it's merdeka! haha. not that i celebrate it that much. just that i'm giving myself my own freedom..to choose and to live and to decide. anyway, i'm taking a break for a day because i need to settle a few things on my own. living in a new place with a new environment, it's difficult. but alhamdulillah, even though my family is not around there are a lot of familiar faces i've seen here :) and after 4 days here, the people are nicer and friendly too. hopefully my first impression wont change after some time. i wonder how long i'm gonna stay, for sure i want to stay longer than 6 months. i don't intend to go back so quickly, since i'm here might as well i grab all the knowledge and skills and to go back with confidence. yeah. :P so far things are okay, i seriously have no idea how the future gonna be but i hope by 2 months i'm well adapt with the system and environment. making new friends, finding my own place to stay and so on. it's quite difficult to change to a new working place, but alhamdulillah, since now i've experience it, i would know what to expect in the future if i have to transfer out again. i thought i was having a bad day yesterday until i remember sh waleed said "Allah s.w.t create things either more good than bad or 100% good". even things appear bad there are actually good in it. Allah has the knowledge and wisdom behind all this. so, don't give up ok. keep moving forward. doesn't matter what others think of you, we just met not more than a week, they can't judge me based on my first few days here. as long as i show improvement and interest, inshaAllah things will improve. and one more thing i'm lacking- confidence! huhu. that's always been my biggest problem but i pray Allah will guide me. and also need to polish my interpersonal skills. kahkah. it's not just a new environment, but the people that i have to mix with also change sociodermographically. haha. i'm so comfortable with people my own age or younger than me, so now it's time for me to learn to mix with the opposite group. if its tough, well, nothing is easy in this world. if we struggle and have patience, inshaAllah there'll be reward, as long as i'm sincere and always be in the remembrance of Allah. ameen. i made this choice and i don't want tp have any regrets at all, so i'm putting my full trust in Allah.  i hope my job will not make me away from You, but make it as a means to get closer to you, my Rabb. Ameen :)

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