reflection

i'm taking a one step back and reflecting upon the last few weeks. hm. yes, i was deviated again, by dunia. that's why i think my mind is miserable and my heart is beating out of its proportion- they are not in peace. i'm having confusions and doubts most of the time. 

anyway, a lot of thing happened. there was a time that i did a stupid mistake but i just have to live with it. i am now. then there was time when i thought i had everything i ever wanted but of course nothing is ever enough. then i feel suspicious and having doubts towards some people but i had to rub it off and telling myself if i was not good for me, then i shouldn't get involved.

and i'm trying my best to make everything right. since i have the opportunity to start from zero, i want to start from taking my 1st step in the right way. i refuse to get to know people from social network sites anymore. cause it won't lead to any good. there was no indication for any of us to get to know each other in the reality, why do we have to start virtually? it won't lead to anything, and i feel like it will only waste time. it's different from knowing each other beforehand than getting to know each other from virtual world. but knowing each other first doesn't mean we are allowed to have private conversations and chatting over the web/phone. i'm talking about relationship between different genders. this is what i learned today, so i'm trying my best to hold onto it. it's not easy, since i used to do the same thing before, but i have to protect myself. i hope Allah will always protect me from doing more sins and harmful mistakes in the future. Ameen~