i am supposed to have shower like 2 hours ago but i'm stuck on my bed with my beloved 'bedmates' - my mac..hehe..anyway..as usual, something is bothering me..hm..
it has been 2 weeks for this new year..2 weeks since i attended Home Sweet Home..2 weeks since i turned 25..huhu..anyway, things like this dont happen often but alhamdulillah through the course i have better understanding and trying to change myself..not much..one step at a time..its a very very small change but i hope i could keep it up and do more changes in d future..:) but somehow making changes in your life could mean you'll lose some things u think it was important for you..like what i'm feeling right now..i'm having doubts and felt a little distance but i believe if it was the best for me, Allah would not let me fell into such misery as He knows best..it's not easy, yes, not at all easy..but i have to keep reminding myself i need to put full trust in Allah..i know i'm still doing procrastination, haha, but i'll improve slowly :P
anyway, the past 2 weeks had been good. i have mixed feelings..sometimes i feel happy, a little stressed out then happy again, then confused then sometimes feeling nervous and having palpitations..then i'm happy again..but i have worries..worrying i would make any mistakes that could harm others and at the same time trying to let myself enjoying my work..also worrying about creating fitnah towards myself or being insincere in my work..have to remind myself of my intentions of going to work everyday..
next week gonna be a tough week..2 days working over weekend..dun worry..let's purify our intentions everyday, may we feel the joy of it..Ameen :)
-oh..and i'm touched when there was one person dat noticed a very small small change i made on my appearane..hehe-
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