curseday

haha..the title already showed i had a bad day..yes..even from the moment i woke up from sleep everything went wrong..woke up late and missed my sahur..huh..arrived at workplace by 7 am got new case came for clerking already..hmm..starting from 12 pm patient just dun stop coming in..a lot of orders not carried out,everything pending..haih~the worst thing is nothing made my day..not even a simple greeting or smile..i tried to cry but my tear glands are not working, ergh..hee, so dramatic~


oh and i forgot to bring back my book again!! i wonder what will happen to it..tawakkal je la~

anyway what makes my day even worst was..i gained 1 kg over a day! i was supposed to be fasting and working non stop whole day but i gained weight..huwaaa..>_<

this kind of feelings remind me of my previous thursday am shift..feel like i'm back to square one..

just do some workout and stop whining!

aigoo~~

annoying & irritating

i should be studying or reading something since i got free time but i don't know why i can't concentrate..so i'm spilling my thoughts here, as usual..

anyway, the past few days had been okay..some things happened that made me feel good and it gives me good motivation to work harder( fighting2!)..but some things just irritates me, like a drunken fella who had an accident and difficult to access his GCS..egh..why do people drink?! oh, and some people can't respect others by blowing their smoke directly to my directions like...eghh..please la.dun dragged other people in if you're harming yourself. so annoying..and some people took my book (with my name on it) that i accidentally left on a desk and returned it back 2 days later thinking i wouldnt find out about it..it was right in front of my eyes, so obvious yet dun have a courtesy to at least inform me that you took my book to photocopy it..yahh!!~ hmmphh~

today my friend and I were discussing about our so-called 'Dream Team'..haha..from our fave specialist to MO to AMO to SN/JM and PPK..hahaha..berangan je lebih..not that we have anyone as our favorite in particular..but thinking about it made me laugh so bad..hehe..funny funny..at least this kind of things made forget about the unhappy feelings i had haha :P

just a few days left before this year gonna end..again, its time for me to start counting days ^^

2 more weeks

i was about going to sleep but suddenly i feel like randomly writing an entry here.no particular subjects to write about. probably a little bit about work and my progress in life..haha..whatever sangat

anyway, work is okay..it's getting interesting each day but i still have a lot to learn. i feel i'm getting used to the new environment and liking it, hopefully it will lasts till the end. last time when i was in medical i used to hate ED for admitting so many medical patients. haha. now i'm in ED i understand why. coz the people cant just stop coming to the hospitals..there are always sick people everyday, every hour, every minute and every seconds. huhu..not that i'm whining bout it, just i felt guilty thinking bout how i was insincere when i was in medical. now i'm sure those in medical would hate it just as much as i did but i cant blame them coz they havent been here. 

anyway, there are always ways to get some motivation while working..haha..i got mine :P..i know in next few years i'll be laughing at myself for this kind of motivation, hahaha, but at least it made me happy to come to work. and talking about sincerity, again i am reminded by this kind of feelings you get when you're sincere. you won't feel annoyed..at all..seriously! but sometimes as a not so perfect human, there's this tiny part in my heart which has less blood supply and almost become ischemic that sometimes had ungrateful thoughts. hehe..i have to control it before it became infarcted, that time i would definitely lose all my sincerities..please don't ever let it happen, ya Allah~

i dun know what else to rumble about..hurm, less than 2 weeks left to remind me of the day i was expelled out of my mummy's womb..alhamdulillah for everything, i'll always remind myself to be grateful. hopefully something good will happen next year too..aminnn ya Rabb :)

s.t.u.p.i.d

today was d most difficult day for me..after almost 3 weeks working in this red department, i've never felt so stupid and more stupid...huhu..at this stage, after finishing most of my major postings, i should be able to manage simple things on my own..yeah, i did..but today things are not that simple..well, compare to few days ago when there were 2 of us, this is my first time seeing such cases on my own..n hell yea, i'm blur! i feel like a moron for panicking over hyperventilation attack..haha..what a fool..then there were other cases keep coming in at one time i couldnt breathe..i was holding my bladder for d rest of day i can feel it's almost exploding..huuu..at the end of my shift i felt like i irritated my MOs..wahaha (gelak tak ikhlas)

anyway, while driving back i was thinking what should i do after a long and tiring day? while i was thinking hard suddenly i realized i was in Empire shopping mall already..i was thinking of having a cup of hot coffee..so i tried out a new coffee shop..i thought it was cool, having a hot coffee of rm 9..but i got shocked after seeing the size of d cup..hahahah..jokerrrrssssss...at least it made me smile at myself..another stupid thing to do..buying a sample-size free drink of rm 9..watever..then i went to a another shop, it was also my first time there..i ordered my food and drinks and it costs me more than rm 50 for a coffee n sandwich..but i was thinking, ha maybe today is the day where i buy all the expensive food..so i just paid without asking much..luckily the worker realized bout it and give me back the extra amount i paid for.they were like..'u paid for it??'..and i felt like another fool..hahaha..i cant believe how stupid i was..~haih

i feel so tired and my body aches everywhere..especially my back..ouchh...i wish i have my Hyun Ki Jun, who would be interested in knowing Goh Ah Jung's daily mood..but i am definitely not Goh Ah Jung and my life is no fairy tale..at the end of the day no one knows how difficult today was for me except Allah..and i thought i could just bear with it..nevermind if my MOs think i'm a fool, nevermind if my colleagues think i can't handle my own things, nevermind it other thinks i'm not capable enough..i'm actually working in the busiest ED in my country (as quoted by my HOD)..hahaha..fighting sarah..try harder everyday!:)

post night

morning..i just came back from work..i did night shift yesterday..and it was okay..compare to last week where i was working non stop till morning..last night i got 2 hours break..alhamdulillah..hehe


anyway last night things were okay..i'm worried about my assessment..haih..i'm closing to the end but still not well prepared..but i hope so far im in this posting i've learned all d essentials..please, i just want to finish all this postings and leave this hospital..competentlyy...i want to be in a new environment and meet new people..hehe..n i cant wait to take a long break, i'm stucked in this country for too long...hhaha..poyo jeh :P


so my head keeps singing avril's song- wish you were here..it was nice..but making me feeling sentimental..not that i wish anyone in particular to be here..really, there was no one i can think of..haha..anyway i'm happy for a friend of mine..she was so bolldddd..she made a confession to d guy she likes and yes, sounds like a happy ending for me..oh my goddd..so brave...i would never do that..even if i want to i dun have anyone to confess to..haha..seriously..sometimes when i am alone i wish i have someone i can think of..pleaseee..give me someone to like...hehe..boleh ke?? :P 


i have to put down my weight..yes, gaining weight means another imbalance in my body system..so, now i know what's my real problem is...stay fit n healthy sarah...dun just eat, eat and eatttt...d trouble with me is, i'm not consistent..i just hope i'm motivated enough..fightingggg~~i'm already in my outfit, but i think i need to sleep just a little bit more....keke ^o^

"all the crazy things you said, you left them running through my head..." ^^

lackadaisical~

it's been a while..while writing this post i'm listening to We The Kings- Say You Like Me..hehe..i like the song..fullstop!


anyway i just came from KB after attending a national convention.cewah..it's regarding Hospital Mesra Ibadah..alhamdulillah, it was a good course and i gained a lot of knowledge.. i'm getting a better understanding about fiqh..but there are so many things that i need to know..so i have to read more..i'm trying my best to put my life in balance..:)


well,after attending the convention, i had a new spirit of going to work..i was grateful to Allah how i was blessed with His knowledge in healing..as we all know, any disease comes from Allah and only Allah knows best regarding the cure..well, my sentence is not really the real quote, i hope it is okay for me to interpret it in such a way..anyway, back to today's story..so life is full of challenges..as i'm trying to be a better person, Allah gives me a test today..a test on my patience..huh..it was so hard..so hard to stop myself from exploding and hurt those around you that my chest hurt so much..yup, my chest is hurt..not my heart..hehe..anyway, i'm not allowed to complaint or whine..how can i complaint when Allah has give me another chance to wake up this morning and continue my duties in helping those in need :) but as a human, i'm not perfect,so there was a time that i ..hm..to be exact, for a moment i was questioning myself..but again, Allah knows best..may Allah forgive me for my ungrateful moments..-_-


so far if you ask me regarding the so called flexi hours..if i have to rate between like and dislike, my meter would be more on the latter..i lost my weekend..i lost track of time..and i lost my opportunity to learn during weekdays..the job is tiring no matter how u try to adjust it..so i think i just have to get use to it and cherish every opportunity i have to gain more knowledge..insyaAllah~

oh nasi goreng..~~~

it has been a long time since my last post..anyway, i left medical about 2months now but i havent miss it at all..haha..oh, except for one time when i had a really bad(+ lonely) call in gynae ward (and covering caesar ward), that one particular time i missed medical..coz i cant make my own decision in this posting..oh yeah, since i mentioned gynae and caesar, jeng jeng, now i'm in a pinky environment --> Ob&Gyn!huhu..not that i'm excited and love it so much, but it's a relief to be able to get out of previous posting..anyway, so far things are okay, and currently i'm doing LR shift..i dunno, working in 8 hours shift should be less tiring, but my body is aching like maddd..as if i did 100 push ups and running 100 miles per day! ok, maybe it's a bit exaggerating, but i do have body ache..ouchh..

things in this posting are okay, except when i conducted a delivery, i would feel guilty towards my patients..eventhough i gave out all my strength and efforts to protect d perineum, there'll be tears..haih, plus d repairing part..haihh..i'll try my besttt!~ 

i'm listening to Beast- On Rainy Days and suddenly i heart rain pouring outside of d window..hee..anyway, i'm doing pm shift today, got 10 more minutes to get ready..i woke up today feeling a bit rajin, so i made nasi goreng..haha..its been a while since i actually cook anything..oh God, how am i gonna get married if i rarely do kitchenwork??hehe..i let my father taste my nasi goreng (usually i only it by myself) n he said not bad, but i have to make it more presentable..haha..ne, araso! maybe when the 'Flexi Hours' do happen i'll try to go to d kitchen more (can't promise)..huuu..gotta go..ciao~~