it's a good day!

helo..today i turned 24!like, finally..so long i've been waiting..haha..anyway, it's a good day..but i didnt do anything..coz i was freaking sick since yesterday..yes..i was postcall and suddenly i feel so nauseated.i vomited once after lunch..the feeling is..yikes..i'd rather had diarrhea than vomiting..huhu..really, the last time i vomit was 12 years ago (yes, i remember exactly)..and i cant imagine how dreadful it is to patients who came in with complaint of frequent vomiting..huhu..but i'm glad i had great colleagues, and really thankful to have them by my side yesterday..really really thankful :)

anyway, tomorrow's gonna be another long day, but i hope i'm back to my healthy states so that i can handle my call without causing problems to my colleagues..huhu..anyway, i guess being sick is a blessing in disguise..it's a good reminder for me..thank you Allah..:)

wonderland..~~~

haihhh..i know i'm not supposed to sigh, but i ammmm..hmmm..last 2 weeks was depressing enough, last week is more depressing..actually it was ok, but then i got nervous..it's totally different when u lose your confidence..it seems everything u do might go wrong..but i'm trying my best to do a good job..apparently, on friday i was oncall and suddenly got the news my mom got admitted..haih..thank God that night nothing much happened..i spent my weekend in the ward with my other family members..i've never seen ma so sick in my whole life..but then, alhamdulillah by sunday she improved..:)

anyway, i dun know why but i am becoming blur every day..a few people asked whether i'm having problems cause i looked so depressed..but truthfully, i have so many things in my mind i dun know which one dat really bothers me..so confused with myself..huhu..even today i almost made one stupid and embarrassing but luckily my colleague helped me out..i wish i am actually in a korean drama, where at this moment the main male character will come and help me sort things out with nice background music.. and things become good after that..(alrite, i am really in a wonderland now)

ok, now i have to get back to reality..tomorrow gonna be another long day..i thought the last week in december should be perfect..i wish..~~ -_-

haunted

it's one month already..i thought i did a good job, but..i dunno, probably i was distracted..now, i'm having my punishment..ahhh..the incident is haunting me like..forever! totally cant get over it..cant stop thinking why didn't i do this, why didnt i do that..why it never crossed my mind..haih..the word E is scary, but its scarier to be the subject of discussion about it..and it's even more scarier when you were there to hear about it with 60 other people in the same room...aaaahhhh!!! no one knows how miserable i feel inside..i was given assurance but stilll..it's haunting me! huhu...

a few times people asked me how do i manage to look happy everyday? yeah..outside you can see me working like nothing worries me, but inside...it's cloudy, raining hard and stormyyy..dush dush dush..adding to this matter..i dun know..it's tsunami!

i learned a lesson..and i'll try my best to not make any more major mistakes..probably because i was away from You..i feel shameful of myself..i really need Your guidance, ya Allah..please dont let me go too far away from You..amiin~~~

waiting for the end

this month is ending in a few days..nope, in a day only..and december is coming..yeayy..cant wait for the end of year..i always love end of year..keke..for one special reason :P

anyway, i'm now half a month in my new posting, and i'm starting to enjoy it..the first few days was tough..i was blur and cant tell how i missed my previous posting..it's like missing home badly when you're away..but i cant call it homesick..it's more like firstpostingsick..haha..whatever..anyway, after one week i'm able to adapt to the new environment..however, things are still bit hard, still trying my best to catch up..i got annoyed with the screamings but i really adore the babies when they are sleeping..so peaceful..hehe..and hopefully i can pass this posting without any problem..enough with one small mistake i made (uhuk2) previously, i'll try my best to do a good job this time..and i'm glad to have another group of nice colleagues working with me :)


my new addiction: my Mr Sam Wave..keke..sorry Corby..i have to leave you...but i really really love you..hehe..:P:P

goodbye 'orange'!~

today is officially my last day in surgery..but i left the department 3 days ago..ah, sekejap je cuti nih..tomorrow i'm going to start a new posting..walalala..i'm nervous! 두근 두근....~~~~

anyway, the last few weeks in surgery, lots of things happened..i almost got extended because of a stupid irresponsible mistake, luckily i was given a 'lighter' punishment..it was just as bad, but..i enjoyed working anyway..huhu..i got to assist in my final major op on the 1st day of November..oh, how could i forget that day? unexpectedly, the op lasted for 8 hours, and i was suffering from cramping abdominal pain..God knows how painful it was and i have to bear with it..>_<

last few days was ok..i received my copy of JYJ and 2PM album! yay! even tho it was a bit expensive, but what to do..haha..it's not like they're producing new album every month..:P:P i totally love 'Still 2:00 PM'..the songs are great..JYJ? the songs are good, hehe..but for now, i'm in love with 'CN BLUE-Love Light'..listening to it for about 100x, but still loving it..haha..

okay, i'm totally out of idea..so, that's all for now..hopefully new postings will bring more new knowledge and experience..huhu..chowww~~

D-day: Ten-Ten-Ten

it's D-day: 10/10/10..finally..tomorrow..yesterday we had our faculty's ceremony..and we finally took our oath..it's good to meet everyone again..but not everyone was there..most of them had lose weight with obvious changes..hehe..me?? i know i didnt lose much, but people kept saying i look thinner..keke.. i'm just thankful :P:P

i had a hectic week last week..starting from monday..seriously..death occurred almost everyday..non stop admission..anyway, i hope by next week things will settle down a bit..and i have to say i hate it when someone suddenly become cocky (taktau spelling betul ke tak)..please la, dun do that..just be the person you were before. we should respect each other. no matter how much you hate dat person, if you're a better person, just show that you are. u dont have to put that person on the bad side.. this is a reminder for myself..i hope i wont turn out to be that kind of person in the future..aminn~

oh no, after tomorrow have to go back to work again..so lazyy..heh..i hope i'll get some time to revise some things before assessment..dun know when, but i really hope i can leave this department safely..with a competent knowledge and skills..huhu..ciao~~

reminder~

as time goes by i realized i have changed a bit..well, not a bit..but a lot..since the past few weeks i started to feel like i'm losing my sincerity. sometimes i got irritated and been cursing silently in my heart..really, i cant believe that i'm turning into such person.. when i was studying i always remind myself i have to be sincere in whatever i do..but now..i hope it was not obvious to other people..i'm writing this down as a reminder for myself, if i am ever to lose my patience, i have to remember the person that i used to be. all the values and things that i believe in in. where had all my empathy gone? this is just a beginning, there's still a long way to go.. remember Allah, your parents & family..and be thankful for everything that you've been blessed with~

Ibrahim a.s once asked Allah, "O my Lord!Where does the disease come from?"
He said, "From me."
Ibrahim a.s said, "Where does the cure come from?"
He said, "From me."
Ibrahim a.s said, "What is the role of the doctor then?"
He said, "A man in whose hands I send and cause cure."

two months

annyeong..wah..so long already since i last updated this blog..haha..so busy with work..trying to catch up with everything..if i am to write everything from the 'first day of life' i wont be able to recall everything..but so far last week is the worst week ever..starting from sunday, i feel like i lost my hope when my patient's bedsore which i noticed was improving just 2 days before suddenly became ugly..stress..then the next day i was humiliated in front of many people because of antibiotic dosage..thank God the surgeon was so nice, i actually want to cry because it was so embarassing..my eyes were actually wet but luckily i was wearing a face mask so no one can see my expression..huhu..the subsequent days were okkay, but i had my first call in redzone..3 cases in a row, i dun even have time to break fast..itupun dapat a piece of kuih from radiographer kat x-ray department, thanks a lot..it was not so bad, i got to sleep a few hours after i settled everything, but i didn't wake up for sahur..seriously tido mati..hehe..but my 2nd call in redzone on 2nd raya was much worse..from 7am to the next day i didn't get to sleep..sob2..sedihh..argh..nevermind, looking at the bright side i got to learn a few new things..huhu..and some people are actually nice to me, i'm so thankful~

i was quite nervous to go to work this week but alhamdulillah things were good..i don't have any call and i got to learn more new things in the ward..next week is the last week and going for another ward rotation..sekejap je, tak lame lagi dah assessment..oh yeah, the next thing i'm so looking forward to is convocation! tak sabar nak jumpe my old classmates..miss them so much..:) i hope at least things will happen as planned..amiin..~

so far i haven't explored the royal city yet, i dun have that many friends to ajak lepak2..i'm a bit slow in getting close to people..i need at least half a year to do so..haha..come on sarah, be more proactive!ahh..i thought i'm more proactive compared to my med school time, but apparently it's not enough..need to work harder..oh, and i need to present case better..파이팅..!!! ㅅ_ㅅ~

2 days left..

so i was at home for 4 days and i went to shopping complex everyday..to be exact, to Subang Parade 3 days in a row..haha..so tired, dont even have a proper time to rest..

anyway, back to my whole traveling experience..the best so far..yela, dah 2 tahun tak kemana2 since my last trip to Jordan & Turki..:P

ergh, i dun know why but i'm actually kinda stuck when trying to write everything, but i'll try my best..at this time of day, during last week, i was in Alpensia Resort doing..er, probably was sleeping because I was so exhausted..haha..

ok, so here it goes..our flight was at night and we arrived in Incheon around 7 am..we took Korean Air..well, there was no in-flight entertainment (like movies/games) but yeah, it was okay since it was night and all I need was a good sleep because i couldn't get a rest since morning.. after we arrived, we were greeted by our wonderful & beautiful tour guide - miss jenny shin/shin jee hee..so we start our tour by some introductions and head straight to Seoul..first stop: Changdeokgung Palace..there was some historical briefing by Jenny which i've forgotten a bit,hehe (because there were lots of history and i was busy looking outside while trying to listen :P) nothing much, just lots of modeling sessions around the palace while learning some korean history and culture..hehe

then we went to Nami Island - the place where Winter Sonata was filmed.,the truth is I have never watch the series, except knowing the song and the main actor, so takde la rasa sangat feel Winter SOnata tu..haha..the place was really beautiful, exactly like what we see from tv..we had our first lunch and walk around with more photography sessions..it was a hotspot for tourists and also local people came for dating..such a romantic place :)

we had our first rest stop in Daemyung Resort in Mt Sorak..the place was great and comfortable..our first dinner was Seafood Beancurd Stew with Kimchi Pancake..aaaa, sedapnye! exactly like what we usually had in tropicana, but this one has the korean feel and more delicious!

then on 2nd day we went to Mt Sorak National Park and Teddy Bear Museum. i had so much fun..going up the mountain by cable car and also take photos with those cute teddy bears..our second resting place was in Alpensia Resort..the place wassss......daebaaakkkk!!!! hahaha..sangat mewah dan best..taktau nak describe camne..the place is a popular ski resort during winter, so since we went during summer, maybe the rate is cheaper..ah, bestnye..heee

ah, actually there are lots more to write but i have to continue packing my stuffs for induksi tomorrow..aih..maybe later i'll update the 2nd part..the journey to Seoul..haha..ciao~

안녕하세요~~

hello~~~~

finally..the long awaited trip has arrived..weeee..5 days 4 nights in South Korea..yay! i'm glad i had so much fun..really thankful to my parents who made this happen..cewah, mcm acceptance speech lak..kekeke..aaaa..happy..행복하세요! ^-^

arkkk..so much things to write..yet so much things to do..serabutnye..balik rumah je dah dapat surat induksi..haih..er, i'll update about the trip later..that's all for now..~~

the 3rd week

it's almost a month now i'm having free time at home..just came back from KB last week..i stayed there for a week..melepak kat rumah, reading novels and downloading stuffs..hehe..finished reading Ramlee Awang Murshid's Cinta Sufi..oh, the best! i would recommend everyone to read this..i heard that it's the last part of the Laksamana Sunan's story..there are 4 books actually..but all are good..please read..most favorite quote 'Mati itu pasti, hidup InsyaAllah'..heh..anyway, i also finished reading the Tombiruo trilogy..currently reading VT by Hilal Asyraf..so far so good..i like the way he puts dakwah elements in the story..i especially like the part 'kopi herba buatan Muslim'..haha, i dun know why but a certain brand keep popping in my head when i read it..:P

anyway, i dun know how much longer my holiday gonna be, but i'll try my best to make use my time wisely..right now been busy dloading stuffs..hehe..2pm..dream team..cinderella's sister..all my fave shows..haha, i just started to like wonder girls after watching them on Win Win..keee..one of the best episodes i think, glad soshisubs decided to subbed it..keke..arh, just now i have overflowing ideas to write but suddenly it became blank..aik..

ah, world cup..like always i'll be supporting Italiaaa...keke..eventhough obviously Inzaghi is not in the team anymore..sob..i'm just the type of person who would stick to one thing once i start to like it..does that count as loyal? hehe..but i'm also rooting for Asia's team - Japan & Korea! go go! i'm not really a football mania anyway, only gonna watch the game i think would be interesting..^-^

may-mories~ ^-^

wow, it has really been a long time..i planned to write on the memorable day friday the 21st, but there were so much to do and the internet speed was not really helping me at that time, so now only i remembered to do update this thing..hehe

so what happened on that friday?? it was the day of our results were announced! and yes, alhamdulillah, syukur kepada Allah s.w.t..i'm totally speechless and i cried..if i am to recapture the moment when our beloved dean called our name one by one and announce whether we passed or not, i dont know how to say it..my hands went cold, no, it's more like frozen! seriously, hanya Allah je yang tahu..and bersyukur sgt sebab doa dimakbulkan, all of us (my housemates) passed! :) there are a few of us who didnt make it this time, but i'm sure within the next 6 months they're gonna a better doctor than any of us..fighting!

so, now it has been 2 weeks, and i'm happily sitting at home..facing my laptop everyday and surfing the net..but now i'm more into watching tv..and doing sudoku..haha..this probably will be my last long holiday, i dont think i'll have a month holiday like this once i start working..huhu..

anyway, i think that's all for now..please pray for the volunteers who were captured by the damn Israelis..hope they'll be safe..ameennn..~~

the best selection

anyway, it's really been a while since i last updated this thing..well, so much things have changed and happened..k-pop, k-drama..k-medical school final exam??? hehe..erkk

for now i have to say goodbye to all this..yes.my exam will be in 2 weeks..really really want to do well..this is it..the finale..the 5 years hardships and stresses..i'll pray for everyone..fighting!

still have a few minutes before maghrib..nak test cd baru: Tohoshinki The Best Selection 2010..annyeong~~~ -_-

super day!~

ohho..i'm supeeerrrr tired right now...just came back from....




hehehe..if it wasn't for this ticket, i probably wouldn't go..because i'm not a big fan of them..but i dont dislike them..how i wish it was DBSK that i saw just now..huhu..i felt like screaming to EunHyuk please send my love to your best friend Junsu and DBSK fellowmates! hehe..^o^


i had fun..really! super junior were super funny..i like the part they did 'f(x)=chu' parody..ahahaha..lawak gila ok..heechull..aaa..speechless..ryeowook mmg cute..kekeke~and i enjoyed watching 'Sorry Sorry' dance..tak sangka dapat tgk live..i really like the dance. thanks to my ELF rumate (miss arin) at least i know a few of their other songs. =p

(My 2mp hp camera-bad quality :P)


anyway, this whole day i spent driving, walking and i'm totally tired..but i finally got myself a professional & simple Swatch..new watch! yeah..i can't hide the fakeness of my 'Nike' watch anymore..huhu


alrite..need some sleep and rest..hopefully tomorrow i'll be fully charged! study and case write up!! fighting!~ ^-^

Mystery Thursday

I wanted to write yesterday but I was so tired the moment I landed on my bed I fell asleep.

Anyway, yesterday had so much of mysteries! Haha. ‘Mystery’ was definitely the word of the day.

Starting in the morning, I met a stranger who was a bit friendly and was talking about blah blah blah. And the moment we went separate ways, that person asked for my number. I said no thank you. Huhu. Right now, I dun even trust giving my number even to the person I’m familiar with, inikan plak stranger. I’m really not into making new friends right now. Blergh~

Then the funny thing happened. We met this woman who practically had been living in the ward as a guardian for the past few days. She knew a lot..a lot of mysterious things. Hahahaha..that’s when we felt like everything was a mystery..the newspaper also had lots of mysterious stories. yesterday was fun..i hope today will be better..amiiinn~

ah, need to complete my discussions for case write up..one more to go..aih, week 4 is almost finishing, gor 3 more weeks..sempat ke nak present case? hopefully everyone will do well in this final posting! fighting !! ^-^

p/s: how come everyone end up wearing pink yesterday? can you find out the answer..mysterious isn't it? (hahaha)

trapped!~

anyway, sumthing funny happened just now..hahahah
our roommm..haih..so much trouble..but we were trapped for about 10 minutes (i think)..in our room..haha..so funny.. nasib baik shikin and zuha datang membantu..yeah, they're the best door breaker person in town..haha..no la, just kidding!

anyway.....i'll try my best to be cool..not gonna get panicked anymore! fighting!~

orchid day

ah...huhuhu..i'm freaking out..suddenly i'm panicking by myself..

i need to be alone..tenangkan fikiran..huhuhu

there's no other place like home! ^-^

aihs..exam is around 2 months.. -_-``

huhu..miss my dong bang shin ki..hehe

hwaiting!! ^-^

february's note~

well..it's been a while..i've been busssyyy for the past few weeks..finished anesth rotation..currently doing the final posting of the sem..MEDICINE! i want to do well..yeo ilshimmihae!!

what's new?not much..i've been watching God of Study lately..and the drama is great! it already ends in korea but the subtitles arent out yet..uh, cant wait! ^-^

life has been a little bit off the rail..i mean, i was a bit distracted by something..uh, my unlucky chapter of my life. whatever. i was good until last thursday i got this bad dream..arghh..it was so bad it disturbed me emotionally, but i think i am better this time..yes i am!

i've been thinking hard, how do i become someone who speaks her heart and express her feelings well? i'm not good at that at all..i really wish i could confront people and speak heart to heart with them..let them know my true feelings and intentions without me feeling embarrassed about it..argh, it's so hard to become a better person. i guess i dun have the courage yet probably because i'm scared people would judge me. i've been living like this for the past 24 years, probably i need more time. but i'll try best..i want to be able to convey my message well. and dun get panic and distracted but small small little things..hhuhu~

positive and happy

I’m trying to convince myself that I’m a happy and positive person who would take challenges with a smile..but today, something sooooo bad happened! And I cant smile..i wanna cry..huwaaaaa..there was a small accident and a small part of the car is ruined..but I’m sure the repair cost not gonna be small..aaaaa..

Why ?? When I was just planning to save some money..bukan rezeki la kot..i guess it’s true..that it’ll be difficult for me to mengumpul kekayaan..ah, what the heck..but I really cant help but feeling guilty towards my parents. I can’t take care of the car properly. Sob2~

nevermind..tomorrow i'll start a new day with a smile :)

Anyway, i’m back to square 1. February is the new year for me. Heh..i didn’t know that surgery was so stressful that by the time the posting ends only it came..hopefully with restarting this, everything will be in balance.

I’m a positive person. I want to live a happy life. I don’t hold grudges. And I don’t care about unimportant things anymore. If I did something wrong, please tell me what I did wrong and forgive me. I’ll try to improve myself ^-^

*listening to SNSD-Into a New World.. sulpun ijen annyeong..~haha :P

end of january

Yeah..went out wif Ed today! Dah lame gile tak jumpe..bile eh? Last year?? Eheheh..exactly when I dun remember..but it’s been a while..

Shopping!

Nasib baik ma hulurkan duit sebelum kuar, klau tak maybe hanya berjalan2 takde tujuan. Anyway, this is the first time I tried about 6 pairs of jeans..and one of it fits well but ketat kat betisss, slalunye klau ketat tu kat bhgn atas..ouch, I’m not skinny and definitely cant wear skinny jeans. Tak perasan lak tadi, men amik je..hahaha..last2 I bought a t-shirt at Marks & Spencer..at a reasonable price..of course! ^-^

Anyway, tomorrow I have to go to Damai to pack my things and move back to Serdang. But if I’m rajin probably I made a few trips back from Serdang to Damai in these 2 weeks. Depends~~ :P

Oh yeah, I discovered my own personality today..heheh, interesting.. most of it are true. But I’m scared about the part ‘susah mengumpul kekayaan’.huhu..probably due to my spending habits. Aih, I’ll try my best to buy only what I need and save more money! I want to travel around the world..wheeee~~

^-^

Just finished exam and..yay!!! Finally..i can rest..:)

Anyway, it’s so sad since surgery posting is gonna end tomorrow *sob2* but it doesn’t mean I want to do the posting again, life goes on..exam in May! -_-

Anesth posting is starting on Monday. Aih, kene pindah serdang lagi. Have to stay there for another 2 weeks…

oh yeah. I know this one is almost 2 years ago, but I just watched We Got Married ep 26 yesterday..and HyunJoong was so sweeeetttt! I’m so jealous of HwangBo..hehe..the moment he plays ‘Falling Slowly’ with his guitar, my heart is melting..waaaaahhh~~~ (meltssss) hehehe..can’t wait to finish all the episodes ^o^

Anyway, can’t wait to go home. I’m craving for sushi right now..urgh, so hungry, just woke up from sleep..i’m going to finish Heading to the Ground episodes..i miss my Dong Bang boys..ㄱㄱㄱㄱ ~ ^-* ~

thank you~

Yay! The best birthday present so far…^-^

Mr. Corby! Mr corby in pink..hehe

At last, I was so miserable with my previous hp. I dun know, probably I didn’t take good enough care of it..there are so many ‘bruises’ on it. Huhu.. so sorry.. it was my first hp I bought with my savings, probably because it was a ‘secret purchase’ and I didn’t get my permission from my parents, that’s why it got broken so easily..huhuu..

This time I got my parents approval, so hopefully it’ll be good. :)

Anyway, this is the 6th week in surgery. Need to pass up 3 case write ups! I hope everyone can finish their case presentation by today, cause I don’t want anymore classes! Even the lecturers are so busy and complaints we requested so many classes, but what to do..7 people need to present at least 4x. so we should have at least 28 cases presentation in 6 weeks! huhuhu

My energy level is depleting. I didn’t do much yesterday but it was so tiring that I slept early at 10 pm. Haih, it has been a few weeks since we did our discussions. Exam in 4 months ++ only..


For my 3rd year buddy – good luck for professional exam 2! Don’t panic, clear your mind and think straight..huhu, I learnt from my own experience…hwaiting!

phewww...~

I’m so exhausted..! I arrived home at 5pm today and I immediately went to the couch (mcm HyungDon in WGM) and slept for 2 hours! Then just now after completed my slides I went to the couch again and sleep! I’ve never had such opportunity to sleep like this before..and that’s why I’m all awake at this hour (it 0221 right now). I think probably all my energy was drained out all the week and today is the only time when I can actually sleep. I’ve been going out early and came back to the room late in the past few weeks. There are so many things to do.

Like today, I went out early to go the ENT ward for the CPC thingy. I was rushing later on because of the ‘supposed to have’ class at 9.30 - trying to walk carefully in the rain to avoid my shoes getting wet and at the same time rushing just to find out it was postponed! I went back to the ward to get the deets on my case write up but the file was not there. Haih..then the class was postponed in the afternoon, that’s when I went out with my friend to BB to survey some stuffs (hehe). But then, we were not very familiar with BB and trying to find a place to get some food because we were totally hungry..decided to walk to Times Square but later on realized we walked the opposite direction..haha.. The two of us were wearing baju kurung and holding ‘watsons’ plastic bag; we definitely look like girls from remote area who were lost in the middle of the big city. hahaha!

I really hope I can get something to boost up my energy. Final exam in just a few months. Next week is the last week in surgery before mock exam. Aaaa..really don’t want it to end. But still have another rotation to do. Medicine! Aih..totally enjoying surgery right now. Not like during my 3^rd year when all I got was palpitations and sweats during my bedside teaching with our previous lecturer. Hehe ..this time we were scolded more because we are in final year and most of our lecturers expect us to be well prepared as a houseman later on, but it’s still enjoyable. A little scolding really helps actually..wakes you up from your dreamland. Huhu~